Yesterday I explored this idea that a feeler that vents (in the thinker/feeler spectrum) is attempting to cope using thinking language. Though, I’m pretty far on the thinker side of this spectrum so I was trying to figure out what the equivalent style of venting is for me. Venting has never been a helpful tool […]
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Thinking and Emotions are two different languages that humans speak. We all speak both, but some of us are much more fluent in one over the other. I am quite fluent in thinking, but emotions I’m not as good at. I don’t experience them as strongly, I don’t understand others as well, so I
An unfortunate part of our society is that those focused on balancing budgets end up deflating imagination, robbing us of community and narrowing our values to being primarily economic in nature. We are seeing the consequences of this now where our “responsible” leaders and trustees are making decisions on behalf of our community to possibly
Empathy is a way of seeing the world and the people in it. Empathy I think is a way that our hearts are bent in order to better be people of love. It’s a way in which we can see people in all the beauty of their humanity, for what they were created to be.
Darryl Silvestri wrote this to me a few months ago in an attempt to explain vulnerability in a relationship. I want you to imagine you are playing the egg toss game. This is love. You stand across from you partner right up close and you gently hand the egg over to her. And she pauses
I am not much of an artist in the traditional sense. I can’t draw, paint, sing, play or perform. I lean to the analytical side of the spectrum and spend a good amount of time reading and thinking. As I start to understand religion, faith, philosophy and those sorts of things, I’ve begun to see
A poem I wrote the night before she died. Below is a prayer and eulogy I wrote for the funeral today. Here is the MP3 file for the entire funeral. Sadness strikes the heart of many When a face that once forced dimples to grow into crevices Grows weary and broken And a voice that
Naivety allows one to face into fate Each day comes and goes Why accept what you know to be true? Might as well believe in something else Peace comes through ignorance Each day comes and goes Anxiety comes through knowing That the unavoidable hasn’t happened yet Innocence precludes endings Each day comes and goes Soon
Dave, a friend of mine, responded to me about my post on Men’s Vulnerability Group and I thought it was worth re-posting some of it. I have begun to realize and set aside all forms of asserting self-knowledge upon worlds that matter and have begun a journey of vulnerability that is characterized by receptivity and
Based on a few conversations with some great counselor friends, we at theStory have started a group which we call Men’s Vulnerability Group. The idea for the group started because of the realization that community and relationships cannot grow unless there is mutual vulnerability. Ideas like from Brene Brown in The Power of Vulnerability and Parker Palmer
Why do we hate to be rejected? Why does it hurt? Rejection is nothing more than a cognitive disposition towards someone. It’s just how someone thinks about you. In order for rejection to be effective, the one being rejected must be in need of acceptance. Acceptance is also just a cognitive disposition to someone. Why
I am an external processor. This means that I think out loud. This blog is a great example of how my personality works. When I have an idea, the very act of writing it down or speaking to someone about it is how I process it. This can be a frustrating experience for some of
When someone gets angry we should never take it at face value. I’ve learned this a number of ways. I learned it first in experiencing people’s anger with my blog posts. I’ll say something like “hell doesn’t exist” and that has created such a deep and passionate anger towards me. What you come to realize
A little while ago I was asking if maybe violence was necessary sometimes. For myself, I still take a perspective of non-violence is a discipline and direction that I want to live my life, but in that article I was questioning the forcing of non-violence on others. This is specifically a problem when non-violence is
Potlucks is the oldest and most consistent tradition that we have at theStory. From our very first meeting as a community, we met in each other’s homes and ate together. The importance of such a practice for us usually goes unnoticed for a while. Many new folks that first join our community show up to
This excerpt is from Sapiens: Any large-scale human cooperation – whether a modern state, a medieval church, an ancient city or an archaic tribe – is rooted in common myths that exist only in peoples collective imagination. Churches are rooted in common religious myths. Two Catholics who have never met can nevertheless go together on
Guilt and empathy are not two things that you would normally think would go together. But I’ve been thinking lately of their connection on two different levels. The first is that empathetic people generally are people that also feel guilt. The more empathy someone is capable of, the more guilt they are capable of. I’m
Humans have this need to summarize and simplify our belief system. When you ask people what they believe in, at the core of their being, you get very concise answers. You hear things like God, Jesus, Energy, Love, Peace, Being Good, The Universe, Nirvana etc. Of course, when you unpack those terms, they come completely
Faith by it’s very nature is a choice to hold to something that cannot be proven. It is a choice of hope despite the lack of evidence that any exists or does not exist. Those of us that hold onto faith are making a decision that hope is better than no hope, or ambivalent hope.
One of the things I’ve grown passionate about with our church is to really spell out and communicate our church practices. As it is these types of practices form us into certain kinds of people. So when we pray together, participate in Eucharist together, camp together, sing songs, give our money, include our children and