Friendships

There is something about friendships that I absolutely love. This topic has run through my brain and a few conversations lately that I just love that I have friends. I was talking with one of my friends from Tyndale tonight and they are going through some stuff and they blatantly asked me “Do you think I need a counselor?” Now I’m not one to say yes or no because I know what I’m talking about, but let’s think about this for a second. A big part of a counselor’s job is to listen. Listen without interrupting; listen without putting your two sense in every other sentence and listen without talking about themselves. Another job they have is to be able to give an unbiased opinion about a situation. This is important. Another job they have is to organize your thoughts and help you think rationally.

If you don’t have friends that do all the above, then I think it’s about time you get some.

I have had friends all my life that I can talk openly about anything, and they will listen. They will give me their opinion on issues, and they will tell me when I’m thinking irrationally. We came to the conclusion that that person didn’t need to go to a counselor because what he was looking for in a counselor he found in his friendships. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there isn’t a place for a counselor, especially when everyone at Tyndale gets to go for free and it’s recommended, because there is, they are a crucial part of society, especially today. I am saying though that we don’t give our friends enough credit, and we can’t depend on a counselor to get us through every rough situation. A big part of a counselor is that there isn’t a real friendship being built, it’s professional. With friends you have people that take the burden upon themselves and will be praying for you and help you through the thick and thin. I’d much prefer to run to my friends.

Another thing I have noticed is that I have two sets of friends.

The first set is those that I can talk to without thinking. Do you have those types of friends? The ones where you won’t be judged for just conversing (because obviously conversations aren’t well thought out, your talking about how your thinking at the moment). These are the kind of friends that I want to discuss important matters with. I find with these type of friends I will change my way of thinking from one extreme to the other in a matter of five minutes. This is an amazing thing to have; a friendship where you aren’t judged with everything you say but where you are seen as a seeker and someone who is honestly trying to find the truth.

The other set is the exact opposite. I notice this more in the classroom, but I have noticed it in certain relationships of mine in the past. For instance, in my Youth Ministry class, I have to be extremely careful of what I say because when I do say it, it is automatically pinned to me that that is what I believe. It’s happened before and it’s the worst feeling. It’s harder to work out the truth in a friendship or situation like that because if you change your mind the other side usually takes it as a victory and your defeat.

In a good friendship, any conversation should be seen as a victory no matter who comes out changing opinions or not because the goal won’t be to prove one right and the other wrong but to bring eachother to understanding what is right.